6 Things I Wish People Knew about INFJs

It’s pretty well known that INFJs are believed to be the rarest MBTI personality type.

It’s part of why a lot (if not all) of us INFJs grew up feeling very different from our peers.

Learning you’re an INFJ can be a pretty eye-opening experience. (It certainly was for me.)

However, there are a few aspects of the INFJ personality that I think don’t get talked about enough. I wanted to take today’s post to highlight a few of them.

Here are 6 things I wish people knew about INFJs.

There’s a reason this label means a lot to most of us

INFJs may be one of the rarest personality types, but we’re pretty easy to find online.

I think this is largely because our INFJ tag means so much to most of us that we can’t help but talk about it. And there’s a reason for that.

A lot of us grew up knowing we were different. And finding out there’s a reason for this can be pretty life-changing.

In some cases, we were likely told that some of our INFJ tendencies were something to overcome.

We were often pushed to “get out more” or to “share more in class,” just to name a few.

I was actually parented really well as an INFJ, but I still knew I was different. I knew my definition of fun wasn’t the same as most of my peers, and I knew I had stronger reactions to things than most.

INFJs aren’t proud of our type because we think we’re extra special snowflakes. It’s that we’ve always known we’re different and now we understand why.

For me, learning I’m an INFJ meant I didn’t really have to “overcome” anything. It taught me that I needed to adapt my world to fit how I operate instead of adapting how I operate to fit the world.

I live a more unconventional life that most, and it’s one that makes me really happy. But I don’t think I would have had the confidence to forge ahead like I have without knowing I’m an INFJ.

It’s given me an understanding of myself that’s been vital to my success and happiness, and I don’t think I’m the only INFJ who feels this way.

We’re not doormats

There’s a lot of talk about how INFJs hate conflict, like to make people happy, and like to help others.

And while that’s true to an extent, we’re also not doormats. An INFJ who has learned boundaries is a force to reckon with.

The reality is, we can be pretty protective of our time, ourselves, and our people. We may not like conflict, but we will absolutely go there if we believe it’s necessary.

We often choose are battles pretty carefully, so you better believe if we believe a fight is worth it, we will come prepared.

Similarly, we can also be pretty giving, but if you take advantage or push an INFJ too far, you run the risk of getting the INFJ door slam.

And once that happens, it’s very difficult to come back from.

We’re as logical as we are emotional

INFJs have a reputation for feeling deeply–and it’s true, most of us do.

But one thing that isn’t talked about nearly enough is how logical we are. In fact, INFJs are believed to be the only type that uses feeling and thinking in equal parts.

This makes us really good at giving advice. We can often understand the emotional ramifications of a situation, but we also see the big picture and have a good take on the best course of action for everyone involved.

We’re big on reciprocation

Reciprocation in friendships and relationships–or any interaction, really–is important for INFJs.

We love to listen, but we also love to be heard. We love to support, but we also want to know we’ll have support when we need it.

But with that said, if we’re feeling our efforts aren’t being reciprocated, we’ll likely meet you where you’re at.

For instance, if I notice I’m constantly the one carrying the weight of a given relationship, (i.e. I’m always initiating, making plans, listening) I’ll start to take a step back and see what happens.

If the other person doesn’t step up, it’s likely that I’ll let that relationship fade out of my life.

If we tell you something is off, believe us

The number one function in the INFJ function stack is introverted intuition.

One element of this means that we’re able to process our environment and draw conclusions about a person, place, or situation incredibly quickly.

So quick, that we often can’t point to why we think something’s off, we just feel like it is.

Many of us have had these feelings dismissed in the past, and often even dismissed them ourselves. But the thing is, these instincts are rarely wrong.

It may not seem like we’re basing these beliefs off of anything concrete, but really our brains working and processing so fast we can’t keep up with what’s being processed.

If we tell you something’s off, believe us. It’s more than a feeling.

A lot of us are Highly Sensitive

Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) process the world deeper than the average person.

They also have a more sensitive nervous system that can make sounds louder, lights brighter, and emotions more intense among other things.

(For more on HSPs, check out this post.)

HSPs are said to make up 15-20% of the population, and many INFJs also happen to be HSPs.

So if we say a sound is bothering us, something really hurts us, or we’re anxious about something seemingly small, we aren’t being overdramatic.

The world really does feel more intense for us. And you have no idea how grateful we are when someone is understanding of this.

Looking for more in-depth tips on how to manage your introverted life?

If you want to dig a little deeper, check out the Introvert Life Guide!

This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips and tricks to help you manage the five biggest areas of your introvert life.

While it wasn’t written just for INFJs, it should also help you navigate plenty of additional common INFJ problems.

It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!

For more introvert life tips, check out the other introvert posts!

Sound off: What do you wish more people knew about INFJs? Tell us about it in the comments!