INFJ perfectionism is often a common struggle for many INFJs.
It doesn’t matter how big or small a task is, INFJs have an instinctive need to do them all perfectly.
Sometimes this is an advantage, like if we have an incredibly important project at work.
But striving for true perfection day in and day out can be tough and exhausting. It can also make your life infinitely harder and cause undue stress in your relationships.
Learning to let go of my perfectionist tendencies significantly improved my happiness, mental health, and pretty much all other key areas of my life.
I still get caught up in it from time to time, but I’m practiced enough to have a handful of approaches to help me get past these moments.
Here are my top six tips to for overcoming INFJ perfectionism.
Think about the big picture
This was pretty important for me. INFJs are typically big-picture people.
We have a unique ability to notice particular patterns and behaviors and understand how these elements will influence a situation as a whole.
But I’ve found when my perfectionist tendencies show up, my focus narrows and all I can see is the task in front of me that I need to get right.
When I find myself getting narrow and obsessive, it helps to step back and consider the big picture.
Where does this task fall in the grand scheme of my day? My week? My month? My life?
Sure, sometimes tasks are that important and do deserve that much of my time and attention. But most tasks don’t.
And when I realize I proofed a text message for the fifth time, it’s a lot easier to let it go when I think of it like this.
Keep things in perspective
This is similar to the point above, but to me it goes a step farther. This is also something I’ll use when I notice I’m really obsessing
To give myself a good understanding of the stakes, I like to consider the worst-case scenario.
For instance, I’m not someone who likes to be late. But it happens. And when I find myself rushing trying to be on time, it helps to actually take a time out and consider what will happen if I am in fact late.
Now, if the worst-case scenario is “the plane leaves without me,” then yeah, I still got to hustle.
But if it’s, “I’ll have to text my friend that I’m running late,” then it’s probably not worth killing myself to be 100% punctual.
Playing out the worst case scenario like this helps me understand what is and what isn’t worth my perfectionist nature.
Once I truly understand that the worst case scenario isn’t that bad, it’s a lot easier to let go and be less obessive.
Start small
That said, it can be hard to let go of these perfectionist tendencies if you’ve been giving in for a while. So at first, just start with the small stuff.
For example, if you’re someone who proofs texts and emails to friends/family to death, start challenging yourself to read things over once (or twice) and let them go.
Exactly how this applies to your life will be unique to you. The point is, you don’t have to jump right to the big stuff.
If you’re a straight-A student who’s starting to feel like school’s running your life, your ultimate goal might be to get comfortable with a mix of As and Bs.
But in the beginning, it’s enough to let go of the smaller forms of perfectionism, call it a win, and work up to the bigger stuff.
Idenify your priorities
This turned out to be a pretty big game changer for me.
Personally, I realized that there’s nothing I value more than my time (aside from the people in my life).
And once I realized that, I was able to reframe a lot of my INFJ perfectionism tendencies to consider, “is getting this a perfect as possible worth my time?”
Every once in a while, the answer is yes. But most of the time, the answer is no.
Now, that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn in garbage or blow a task off. But prioritizing my time has helped me find and accept when a task is “good enough.”
Assess your ability to make a change or correction
Sometimes you only get one shot to get something right. But most of the times, you’re able to make a change or correction if you make a mistake.
Taking the time to identify when and how you can go about making a correction can make it easier to make peace with letting go of something that may be less-than-perfect.
For instance, if you’re a regular reader of this blog, you may notice some typos. I’m often prone to missing letters, missing or repeating words, and similar errors.
I proof these posts, but I don’t catch everything. My INFJ perfectionism would have me proofing these posts to death.
But in this case, making a correction to an already published post is really easy!
So instead of obsessing and striving for perfection, I write each post, proof it twice, then schedule it to publish.
Then I’ll do some periodic proofs of published posts, or make changes if a reader notices a typo changes the meaning of a word/sentence or makes the word unclear.
There are tons of areas in life where mistakes and imperfections can be corrected like this. Take the time to assess if the thing you’re trying to perfect is one of them.
If it is, try to let it go and know you can make a correction if necessary.
Talk it through with someone you trust
Sometimes, you know you’re obsessing and striving for perfection and need to stop but you just can’t.
In these cases, I find it helpful to talk it over with someone I trust who has good judgment but is less of a perfectionist.
Even if I know I need to let go of something, sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else.
It makes it easier for me to give myself permission to let go if someone else also sees it as a reasonable and beneficial decision.
Looking for more in-depth tips on how to manage your introverted life?
If you want to dig a little deeper, check out the Introvert Life Guide!
This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips and tricks to help you manage the five biggest areas of your introvert life.
While it wasn’t written just for INFJs, it should also help you navigate plenty of additional common INFJ problems.
It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!
For more introvert life tips, check out the other introvert posts!
Sound off: Have you struggled with INFJ perfectionism? Do you have tips to overcome it? Tell us about it in the comments!