The holidays can be busy and stressful for anyone, but when you’re an introvert, that business and stress can lead to pure exhaustion.
There so much to do and so many people to see, that we often lose sight of our energy reservoir.
But I’m here to tell you with a little planning, a little strategy, and taking the time to check in with yourself, the holidays can be introvert-friendly!
Here are my introvert tips and tricks for surviving the holidays.
Make a plan
This is the second year I’ve made what I call a Stress-free Holiday Plan, and let me tell you it’s been a game-changer!
A Stress-free Holiday Plan involves making a list of all of the holiday prep you need to do, then breaking it up into bite-size chunks over the course of the weeks and month leading up to the holiday.
If there’s a task that’s particularly time-consuming, see if you can break it down into a more manageable size.
For instance, the most time-consuming task used to be my holiday baking. I generally love to bake, but fitting in the amount of baking I had to do quickly made the activity stressful.
I also had to wait until the holiday was close so the baked goods didn’t go stale.
Now, instead of trying to find large windows of time to complete this task, I start making the dough at the beginning of the month. Then I freeze it until I’m ready to bake it closer to the holidays.
This makes it so I only have to find a couple one-hour windows each week throughout the course of the month.
I do this with every holiday activity, then make a masterplan of exactly when I’m going to put the time into an activity.
In the end, I’ve found it a lot more manageable and a lot less overwhelming to fit in a few hours a week of holiday prep instead of searching for full afternoons as crunch time approaches.
Don’t go to everything you’re invited to
Just because you’re invited to a holiday gathering doesn’t mean you have to show up.
There are tons of holiday parties of the work, friends, and family variety. As great as it can be to see everyone, that’s also a lot for an introvert.
You can’t be everywhere and do everything and expect to still have the energy you need to do it all well. So, if you aren’t truly excited about going to an event, pass on it.
If you want to see the people at an event but don’t have the energy for the event itself, set up something for January.
Related: just because a significant other is invited to something, doesn’t mean you have to go with them. This is especially true if your significant other is an extrovert.
There may be some events where a partner is really needed, but otherwise, take time to consider your energy levels.
If you’re not up for the annual night out with your partner’s high school friends, let them go and have their extroverted fun without you. You’ll both be better for each other (and survive the holidays more peacefully, with maximized joy) with this approach.
For help with making this happen, here are some tips on how to explain introversion to others.
Get strategic about family festivities
Don’t overextend yourself
Do everything you can to avoid overextending yourself with family festivities–especially on the day of the holiday.
If you’ve got multiple families to get to, make a manageable plan and be prepared to stick to it.
For instance, I’ve got two sides of my family to visit. I visit one side for Christmas lunch and the other side for Christmas dinner, with few hours at home in between.
This works really well for me. I’d rather go big on the day of, then have the days after the holidays to recover. I think I could do as many as 3 stops (with appropriate buffer time before, after, and in between) without being completely drained.
But some people work best planning one family on the main holiday and additional dinners/gatherings with other family groups on the days before or after the holiday.
Figure out which approach works best for you or create your own. Then make a visitation plan around it.
The most important thing is to be realistic with yourself and try to do too much. Use past holidays as a guide.
Be on the same page with the people you’re traveling with
Once you know what your ideal is, get on the same page with the people you’re traveling with. Maybe these are people in your household, or other family members or friends.
Makes sure everyone is in agreement on what would be best and why. Know what you’re willing to compromise on and what you’re not.
For instance, let’s say you know you don’t have it in you to hit multiple houses on the day of the holiday, but your partner is up for seeing everyone. Maybe your compromise is that you only got to one family the day of, but your partner can decide which family it is.
Getting everyone one the same page makes the holidays significantly less stressful, which makes it so much easier to enjoy.
Avoid rushing and know your rough end time
Whatever you decide, it’s a good idea to avoid rushing from one group to the next.
Make sure you have enough travel time and downtime between each event so you don’t feel like you’re rushing. That kind of pressure can take a toll on your energy levels and may the holiday feel a lot less enjoyable.
I may do all of my family visits in one day, but there’s also a nice time buffer in between each event, which keeps the holiday from getting hectic.
If you can’t get to everything without rushing, you might want to reconsider how much you’re doing, and see if you would be better dropping something or spreading your events out over a few extra days.
It’s also a good idea to know roughly when you’ll be leaving an event and make sure everyone in your group is aware of that too.
This can help you keep your buffer time, and ensure you have the energy to make it through all of your events.
Simplify and let go whenever possible
There’s a lot about the holidays that become staples because of tradition or society.
It’s important to remember that because the majority of the world is extroverted, the majority of the customs and traditions are too. This means there are some customs and traditions that just aren’t good fits for introverts.
If you find yourself doing something you don’t like out of habit, feel free to let it go! Even if it’s a tradition. Traditions are great if you enjoy them, but if you’re not getting anything out of the tradition, what’s the point?
The holidays put enough on your plate. You don’t have to keep making space for an activity that’s adding more stress than joy to your holiday season.
Alternatively, don’t be afraid to modify or simplify a tradition you enjoy so it’s more manageable.
For instance, my mom used to send Christmas cards to almost everyone in her address book. But that ate up a lot of time she didn’t have, which made it a stressor. She ultimately likes sending the cards, but it was getting to be a bit much.
Now she only sends them to the people she still wants to keep in touch with but doesn’t see often.
She figures she sees her friends and family plenty, so she can wish them well in person. It’s the people she doesn’t see regularly who can benefit most from the cards.
This has made her list significantly more manageable.
If you’re hosting or in charge of something big, ask for help
You don’t have to do it all. Just because you’ve agreed to host or spearhead an activity, doesn’t mean you have to be solely responsible for it.
If you’re cooking the holiday dinner, enlist your guests to bring a side, appetizer, or dessert.
If you’re organizing a holiday party for your large group of college friends, get some of your friends to help with the invitations, planning and other responsibilities.
It’s okay to delegate!
Plan downtime!
Planning downtime is always important but it’s exceptionally important around the holidays. This may mean keeping your weekend mornings free, or it could mean blocking off whole days at a time.
It’s also great to spend your downtime doing some relaxing festive activities, like enjoying some hot chocolate and holiday movies.
Personally, I pad the month of pockets of downtime, but it’s the day after Christmas I live for.
While I may see multiple family groups on Christmas day (and enjoy it), the day after Christmas is locked down and protected.
I sleep in. I don’t get out of my pajamas. And I don’t leave my house or interact with anyone I don’t live with. Some years, I barely get off the couch.
After all the extroverting the day before, the day after is pure introvert heaven.
However much downtime you need to survive the holidays, make sure you take it! Even if you have to miss out on things to make that happen.
Looking for more in-depth tips on how to manage big events like the holidays?
If you want to dig a little deeper into this topic, check out the Introvert Life Guide!
This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips and tricks to help you manage family and big events like these.
It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!
For more introvert life tips, check out the other introvert posts!
Sound off: How do you manage the holidays as an introvert? Tell us about it in the comments!