Despite the fact that the term “introvert” is more common than ever, there are plenty of people out there who either haven’t heard the term or who don’t really know what it means.
Most of these people happen to be extroverts but plenty are introverts who simply haven’t been introduced to the concept yet.
If you find yourself in a position where you have to explain introversion to someone else, here are some talking points to help you hit on the key elements so they can better understand how you (and many others) operate.
You can use these points to get an extrovert in your life to give you some alone time or to introduce the concept to an introvert who never realized there was an actual reason behind their homebody tendencies.
Talk about energy
This is the key difference between introverts and extroverts, so to me, this has always felt like a natural place to start.
Before you go into too many specifics, layout the basic fact that introverts and extroverts receive and lose energy differently.
Introverts gain energy when they’re alone and lose energy when they’re around people, while extroverts gain energy when they’re around people and lose it when they’re alone.
This fact is often eye-opening for extroverts, most of whom don’t realize introverts actually experience the world differently from them.
Extroverts often think they’re helping if they drag an introvert out at night or keep them company when they’re staying in. They don’t realize they may actually be making the situation worse for their introverted friend.
This can also be a life-changing piece of information to share with introverts who may have been shamed or put down for preferring to spend so much time alone.
Talk about needs
Once you’ve laid the ground work by explaining an introvert’s energy cycle, it’s time to get specific about what an introvert may need as a result.
The biggest need worth mentioning is downtime. If introverts get their energy from being alone, it makes sense that they would need downtime to recharge their batteries before going to another event.
This is your chance to explain the importance of being alone and avoiding days/weekends/weeks of back-to-back events.
It’s also a good time to mention that busy, too-bright, too-loud, too-crowded places can also drain an introvert’s energy, so avoiding them is preferred. Or, if you choose to participate in something like this, stress how important it is to have that downtime before and after.
It’s also important to note here that most introverts do enjoy socializing, but their preference is for smaller groups. And while introverts may enjoy a bigger party for one reason or another, it’s likely that they will reach a point where their energy level drops to a critical level and they will need to leave.
It’s good for people to understand that introverts aren’t trying to ruin anyone else’s good time when they need to leave a social activity. It’s an actual need they have, and not doing so may have negative side effects in the hours and days after.
These are the needs that I have found to be the biggest and most common for introverts across the board, but feel free to modify if others seem more prevalent to you.
Talk about what Introversion isn’t
Now that you’ve established the basics of what it means to be an introvert and how their needs are different from extroverts, it’s a good time to dispel some common introvert myths.
Odds are, even if the person you’re talking to doesn’t understand introversion, it’s likely they’ve heard the term “introvert” in some kind of negative context.
Because of this, it’s important to note that being an introvert does not automatically mean someone is shy, anxious, or antisocial. It also doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with them.
Introverts can be shy, anxious, or antisocial, but it isn’t because they’re introverts. Those are separate states of being.
However, it may also be worth noting that forcing an introvert into an extroverted lifestyle/situation can certainly be a source of anxiety for many introverts, which may have lead to this misconception.
Talk about the introvert/extrovert scale
I typically find it helpful to emphasize the fact that people actually fall on an introvert/extrovert scale, and some people may even be ambiverts.
Ambiverts are people who enjoy socializing and being alone in equal measure.
I find adding this detail really cements people’s understanding of introvert and extrovert. It’s easy to think of these terms as black and white; people who get energy from others and people who don’t.
But when you think of introvert/extrovert as a black and white situation, it can lead to some people not believing a friend when they say they’re an introvert. They may be able to point to numerous occasions when their friend has enjoyed socializing or enjoyed a non-introvert friendly event.
This friend may have even sought these events out. However, what these people don’t see is the crash that may have come for that friend after the event.
It always seems helpful to stress that just because someone enjoys socializing doesn’t mean their not an introvert. They may simply need less downtime than other introverts if they’re closer to the center of the introvert/extrovert scale.
Talk about your personal behaviors and needs
Personally, I like to wrap up my explanation by getting a little personal.
This is where I’ll explain specifically what I like, don’t like, what I need, and what my general introvert experience has been. This typically grounds my more general explanation into something real and applicable.
I also like to do this because there’s usually two reasons that I’m giving this overview.
The first reason is that I’m talking to an extrovert who is trying to be helpful but doesn’t realize they’re actually bringing me down. After giving the general overview, I end on what I need because I’m likely giving this explanation because these needs aren’t being met. Ideally, this explanation and personal application will help this problem going forward.
The second reason is I’m talking to a fellow introvert who doesn’t yet have a deep understanding of what it means to be an introvert. In this case, I’m getting personal so they may have more practical tools they can use in their own lives.
After all, nearly all the tools in my introvert toolbox I got by learning from other introverts. This is my way to pay that forward. Also, I’ve found trading introvert life tips is a great way to bond with someone.
Looking for more in-depth tips on how to use and explain your introverted nature?
If you want to dig a little deeper into this topic, check out the Introvert Life Guide!
This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips and tricks to help you utilize your introverted knowledge and explain introversion to those who don’t understand.
It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!
For more introvert life tips, check out the other introvert posts!
Sound off: What has helped you explain introversion to others? Tell us about it in the comments!