If you’re an INFJ, today I’ve got 7 INFJ life tips to help you live a happier, healthier life.
I’ve talked in the past about how learning I was an INFJ drastically improved my life. Over the years, there are many tips, tools, and techniques I’ve used to set myself up for success in a world that was absolutely not built for me.
Today, I’m sharing my top 7 INFJ life tips with you! These are the tips I’ve found to be the most helpful and had the most dramatic impact on my life.
Set Boundaries
It’s really easy for INFJs to give too much of themselves. It’s impulsive and instinctive. If someone’s asking for help and we’re in any way capable of assisting, it’s in our nature to say yes.
The problem is if you say yes to everything, you run yourself into the ground and have nothing to give yourself or any other area of your life.
Setting boundaries is important for everyone, but it’s extra important for introverts and especially INFJs.
You’re no good to anyone if you’re burned out. Learning to set healthy boundaries was absolutely life changing for me and I suspect it will have the same affect for you.
For more, here’s a post on how to set boundaries and how to say no.
Deviate from societal expectation
As I’ve said on this blog many times before, the world wasn’t built with introverts in mind. It also definitely wasn’t built to consider INFJs.
This means that most of the systems and norms that society has decided are the “way of life” just don’t work for us. When we try to keep up, it often means we end up with a pretty unhappy life.
This means if we want to be happy, we need to be okay with deviating from what’s commonly accepted as “normal.”
What this means is going to be unique to each INFJ. For some, it might mean working online or remotely and passing on nights out at bars.
For others, it may mean choosing a job in a low-key environment (like a library or academia) and staying in on weekend nights all together.
How you want to deviate from societal expectations is entirely your call.
I have many but those are changes that work for me. (If you’d like to know more about mine, let me know in the comments! Perhaps I’ll do a post on this in the future.)
Try to take the time to really consider what areas of “traditional” life don’t work for you. Then brainstorm solutions and plans to make some changes.
Be aware of your energy and opt out when you want or need to
This is true for all introverts, but INFJs also tend to be highly sensitive and highly empathic.
All of this means we’re even more likely to be drained in crowds, at parties, or even just at the end of your average day compared to the standard introvert.
On top of this, INFJs are also often called the “extroverted introvert.” We get this name because, though our social circles may be small, we typically genuinely enjoy the people in our lives.
This means we like to see them and be there for them–especially when they’re in need.
The problem with this is that we can often lose track of ourselves and agree to do too much. This can be either because the activity sounds fun and/or someone we care about has invited us somewhere and we don’t want to let them down.
The thing is, our energy is not unlimited and we do get drained pretty easily. It’s important for INFJs to be aware of how much of our energy we’re giving away and learn to opt out when we need (or want!) to.
Our energy is not an unlimited resources and it’s up to us to protect it.
Check-in with yourself regularly
Related to the point above, INFJs are typically very aware of other people’s emotions and often less aware of our own.
This doesn’t mean that INFJs can’t be in touch with emotions (I like to think I am). But it does mean that it may take a little more work.
INFJs are often good at other people’s emotions because one cognitive function in their function stack is Extroverted Feeling. This means we’re naturally wired to understand external emotions as opposed to internal ones.
(You can read more about the INFJ function stack and Extroverted Feeling on the INFJblog.)
Personally, I’m pretty aware of when I’m not feeling good, but I often have a hard time really nailing down why.
Sometimes it may just take a time out and some deep thought or introspection.
But because of Extroverted Feeling, I’ve also found it helpful to externalize my emotions as much as possible–especially if my feelings are new or particularly complex.
For me, this often means journaling or talking something through with a trusted friend or family member. I often don’t need too much feedback as I’m sorting this out, I just need a sounding board.
What this means for you may vary.
The important thing is to take the time to check in and really explore what you’re feeling and why. This will help you understand yourself better and take appropriate action if necessary.
Trust your intuition
As INFJs, our intuition is pretty strong and pretty on-point. However, it can sometimes be hard to trust these instincts, especially if you’re not used to doing so.
INFJs are said to be equal parts thinkers and feelers. We often value logic and reason just as much as we value emotions and following our hearts.
As a result, it may sometimes be hard for us to trust our intuition if we can’t fully understand the logic and reason behind that gut feeling.
But learning to trust your intuition will lead to a marginally happier life.
What helped me was when I learned that those intuitive impulses are really the result of my mind rapidly and subconsciously processing a person, environment, or situation.
So really, that intuition is a result of logic and reason, even I can’t concretely identify each point. That instinct is ultimately created by my brain, which is something I trust.
Will your intuition be right 100% of the time? Probably not. Few things in life are 100%.
But it likely will be right most of the time and your life will be better if you learn to trust it.
Learn when to stay in your comfort zone
I don’t know about you, but growing up, I was often challenged by well-meaning teachers, friends, and family members to “get out of my comfort zone.”
Sure, there were plenty of times when that was beneficial. But more often than not, I would meet this challenge and find myself with deep regrets.
I would end up exhausted, burned out, bored, miserable, and likely find myself with a pretty serious introvert hangover the next day.
As an INFJ, what I’ve learned is it’s really only beneficial for me to get out of my comfort zone if I’m uniquely motivated to do so.
In other words, if there’s something I want, and I need to be uncomfortable to get it, it’s worth it. I grow, and I gain.
Or, sometimes I genuinely want to try something new but the newness and unknown nature of it is intimidating. In this case, pushing myself to take the step and go for it often results in a fun new experience of growth and discovery.
But if I’m being pushed to do something because someone else wants me to be somewhere or has decided I should “try something new, it would be good for me,” it’s not beneficial.
Ultimately, I’ve found that stepping out of my comfort zone just for the sake of doing so does more harm than good.
If this is something you relate to, feel free to stay in your comfort zone more. Sometimes, that’s what it means to take care of yourself.
Build a sanctuary
It’s also incredibly helpful to create a physical comfort zone that you can always retreat to.
This space can be used when you need to rest, recharge, or just be left alone for a while.
It should be created with comfort in mind. It can be as big or as small as you want/are able to make it.
For more on what a sanctuary can do for you and how to create one, check out this post.
Looking for more in-depth tips on how to manage your introverted life?
If you want to dig a little deeper, check out the Introvert Life Guide!
This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips and tricks to help you manage the five biggest areas of your introvert life.
While it wasn’t written just for INFJs, it should also help you navigate plenty of additional common INFJ problems.
It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!
For more introvert life tips, check out the other introvert posts!
Sound off: What are your top INFJ Life tips? Tell us about it in the comments!
Thank you so much for this post! I almost cried, the whole time I was reading I was like “this is totally me”! It can be so frustrating to be different and not be able to take on as much as we want to, but setting boundaries and experimenting does help me to get most out of (social) activities. E.g. catching up with friends during a walk or in an online chat instead of a noisy restaurant, working fewer hours per day (7 instead of 8-9) with a long lunch break incl a nap, and letting people know I’ll check my schedule before saying yes to a commitment – and allowing myself to cancel or find an alternative if I need to. And yes, I’d be delighted to read which unconventional tips you have for living life to the fullest 🙂
I’m so happy to know this post resonated with you! Thanks so much for reading and for sharing some awesome tips of your own. 🙂 I’ll definitely prioritize a post on some more specific ways I’ve altered my life to be more introvert/INFJ friendly!
Thank you for these tips! Im looking for ways to work more effectively both professionally and personally and I realize a lot of this is tied to personality type. I often over nurture, over think and give too much without concern for myself. Sometimes it feels like swimming upstream for no reason.
I totally know that feeling, and I’m so glad you found this post helpful! Thanks so much for reading! 🙂