If you’re an INFJ, you’ve likely had your fair share of uniquely relatable INFJ experiences.
You’ve probably had these experiences your whole life, even if you didn’t always realize it was an INFJ thing.
Personally, I always find posts like this one make me feel seen and validated, which is why I wanted to create one myself.
Here are 6 super relatable INFJ experiences you might have had if you, too, are an INFJ.
Doubting, then learning to trust, your intuition
If you’re anything like me, you likely spent a lot of time doubting or questioning your intuition before you learned what it means to be an INFJ.
Because INFJs are equal parts logical and emotional, it can be hard to give credit to our gut feels. We often can’t back these intuitive nudges with hard facts, so we dismiss them.
For instance, maybe you’ve had a gut instinct that someone can’t be trusted. But since you don’t know them very well, it can be easy to tell yourself you’re not backing this judgment with any hard facts and you should give this person the benefit of the doubt.
For some INFJs, it may be enough to notice the rate at which their intuitive nudges prove to be true for them to learn to trust it.
Others may need to learn they’re an INFJ and how their intuition works to learn this lesson.
However you get there, if you’ve made it to this point, you likely know how life changing it can be to learn to learn to lean into this trait.
People coming to you for advice
INFJs are known to be be good at seeing the big picture. Other strengths include being killer listeners, and an impressive ability to empathize and understand a person’s motives.
This makes INFJs excellent at understanding the full picture of a situation, the future implications, and where all partiers involved are coming from.
As a result, INFJs are often sought out for advice and counsel. They may even be referred to as the therapist of their friend group (I certainly have been).
When I have these conversations, I find personally that sometimes I’m giving advice but other times, I’m just offering a different perspective.
Most times, I genuinely enjoy this role. I like that I can be supportive and helpful to the people I care about in this unique way. More often than not, I’m told the advice and perspective I give genuinely helps.
It usually makes me feel closer and valued by the people in my life, and I love being able to help create that kind of connection and support.
Having that advice ignored (and the situation playing out as you predicted)
On the other hand, there have been plenty of times where someone has come to me for advice and ignored everything we talked about.
I know I’m not the only INFJ who’s had this experience.
While I love giving my time, energy, and insights to help people, it’s really frustrating and draining to give these resources only to have the advice ignored. And most of the time, the situation plays out exactly the way I expected it to.
It feels exhausting in a way I don’t feel when I’m talking to someone who’s receptive to the perspective I’m offering. And it’s even worse when a preventable situation plays out before my eyes.
Everyone has ownership over their life and gets to make their own choices, but it sucks to give so much time and emotional energy to a situation, in the interest of being helpful and supportive, only for it not to matter. Especially when someone asked for this help.
Learning when not to give so much of yourself can be a challenge. You may always feel a twinge of guilt when you hold back. But it’s so important for your own well being, and it leaves you available for those who truly value your point of view.
Convincing people you really do want to stay in by yourself on a Friday night
Our society has the long-standing belief that staying at home is sad and lonely. But for me, it’s always been what freedom looks like. Most INFJs would agree.
And while there’s more introvert awareness than ever, there are still plenty of people who are under the impression that they’re helping you by encouraging you to come out with them.
I don’t know a single INFJ who has had to have a conversation that goes, no, I really do want to stay home tonight. Please leave me alone.
At this point, I’ve learned to pick my battles. My go-to response is simply, “I have plans.” I’m not lying. I have plans to stay home.
If I get to know someone better and learn they’re respectful of my plans, then I’ll be more honest with them. Otherwise, I keep my plans to myself. It’s just not worth the energy.
Discovering you’re an INFJ
This might be one of the most universally relatable INFJ experiences.
It’s that holy shit this explains everything moment.
This is why being an INFJ is life-changing for so many of us. INFJs are said to be the rarest personality type. This means our experiences really are pretty unique.
Even if we’re in a respectful and supportive environment, we’re often well aware of the fact that we’re different from most people.
Most INFJs I know connect deeply with our description when we first discover it. It’s the first time we understand why we often felt so different. It’s also often the beginning of an exciting period of self understanding and discovery.
Having an anxiety response due to overstimulation
A lot of INFJs are also highly sensitive. This can be another holy shit this explains everything moment. It was for me.
If you don’t know much about high sensitivity, it’s an innate character trait that essentially means your nervous system is more sensitive than 80-85% of the population.
The world is louder, brighter, and more crowded for you than most. So if you’ve ever felt like this, it’s not in your head.
When you’re overstimulated, it may feel a lot like anxiety, but it’s not quite the same.
For me, there’s a clear difference. If something gives me anxiety, just the thought of doing it makes me anxious. Like, say, having to make a phone call.
But if something overstimulates me, the idea of the activity doesn’t make me feel anxious. I know I don’t like it, but there’s not anxiety attached. It’s only after I’m in the situation and actually overstimulated that the anxiety response kicks in.
I wanted to share this here because so many INFJs have this experience, but the highly sensitive character trait isn’t talked about quite as much as it probably should be.
If you’ve identified with this point and want to learn more. Here’s a post about the difference between introversion and high sensitivity to get you started. From there, I highly recommend a deep dive on high sensitivity. It’s something else that’s been life-changing for me.
Looking for more in-depth tips on how to manage your introverted life?
If you want to dig a little deeper, check out the Introvert Life Guide!
This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips and tricks to help you manage the five biggest areas of your introvert life.
While it wasn’t written just for INFJs, it should also help you navigate plenty of additional common INFJ problems.
It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!
For more introvert life tips, check out the other introvert posts!
Sound off: What super relatable INFJ experiences have you had? Tell us about it in the comments!