Living in an extroverted world can mean lots of extroverted events. This can include parties, loud crowded restaurants, concerts, etc.
While introverts may be less keen on a lot of those experiences, they’re also situations we might enjoy–with some more introvert friendly perimeters.
As I’ve said before on this blog (and will likely say again), some doses of extroversion are healthy for introverts. Just as some doses of introversion are healthy for extroverts. But still, sometimes extroverted events can be a bit much for the average introvert.
You should always feel free to opt out and say no. But if you’re an introvert who would like to find more enjoyment in extroverted settings, here are 7 ways you can modify extroverted events to be more introvert-friendly.
But keep in mind, every solution won’t be right for every situation, so use your best judgement.
When you’re a guest or have less control
Modify how long you’re there
Like we covered in our Introvert 101 post. Introverts lose energy socializing and being in busy environments. So it stands to reason that the longer we’re at an extroverted event, the more exhausting it can be.
Therefore, one easy modification is to limit the time you’re there. If you’ve got a party invite, show up late or leave early. Some events may have hard start and end times, but most don’t.
In a situation like a party, people are often coming and going as they can. Showing up for however long is appreciated. And often, the bigger the party, the easier it is for you to slip in and out with minimal notice.
This can even be something you apply to an event like a concert, which can be a loud and draining place for an introvert. If you’re going to a concert where the main act is the reason you bought the ticket. Go late and skip the opening acts.
Sure, you may not be getting your money’s worth in music, but if you’ll get more enjoyment out of the act you really want to see, it might be worth it.
Take breaks when you need to
Ducking out for a bathroom break or simply stepping away to find an empty room is always a good strategy when you’re starting to feel a little run down.
You may not get a full recharge until the event’s over, but taking a 10-15 minute break (or longer if you need it) can give you boost to get you through the rest of the event.
If you’re in a more crowded or public location, stepping outside is also a solid option, depending on the weather.
And sometimes, this may even be a better option in less than ideal weather (as long as it’s not dangerous). Cold, snow, rain, etc tends to keep people inside. So if you’ve got a tolerance or come prepared, you may find a mini introvert haven.
Come prepared to engage in deeper conversation
One thing that introverts hate at most parties or comparable events is small talk. Most of us find it draining and when you’re already at a potentially draining event, the thought of small talk can be even more shudder-inducing.
However, introverts often enjoy diving deeper and have more meaningful conversations. So, it might help to come prepared with some conversation starters that lead to deeper conversation.
It doesn’t have to be anything crazy.
For instance, if you’re going to a party with a fair amount of new people, it’s likely that occupation will come up when you meet someone new. Instead of sticking with the surface description of the other person’s job, be ready to ask them with their favorite and least favorite parts are and why. (And be prepared to share the same.)
This will likely naturally lead to a more interesting and deeper conversation.
You can plan your questions based on your environment and the people you’re likely to engage with.
Prepare before and plan recovery time after
No matter how much you may modify the event, one of the most important modifications is giving yourself time to prep and recover.
Extroverted events are no fun of an introvert whose energy is depleted from the start–no matter how many modifications you may make or how much you think you want to be there. If you plan time to gather your energy ahead of time, you’re more likely to enjoy yourself.
Similarly, it’s a lot harder to roll back to your everyday life after a more extroverted event. Even if it was fun, it takes your energy. If you don’t give yourself time to recharge, you may find yourself irritated that you went and more likely to decline in the future.
So, be sure to take the time before and after. It’s not just for you, it’s for everyone you may come into contact with.
When you’re a host/in charge
Choose a location other than your home
Like most introverts, I’m cool to have 4-6 friends max over for a low-key gathering. However, I’m not one to host a party or larger gathering in my home.
This is because I consider my home to be a place to escape a party when I need to. Inviting one in would be close to anxiety-inducing.
However, there may be times when introverts want to run the show. Maybe a major holiday is getting to much on an older parent. Or maybe, for whatever reason, you are the most willing or able person to cook or host.
In that case, consider having the event at another location. Perhaps you’re older parent doesn’t mind having people over, it’s just the work of the meal that’s too much. In that case, you can take over the work load at their house.
And if hosting at a parent’s house isn’t an option, is there someone else you can team up with and say, “if you host, I’ll do all the work”?
Or if it’s a bigger party, perhaps it might make more sense to have a cookout at a park or to rent a hall.
While the rental may cost money, the perk is that it comes with a hard end time, making it a little easier to send people home and to get yourself home within a given time frame.
Plan a break space
Breaks are still a good idea for introverts, especially when we’re in charge of the event. When you’re planning the event, you can also plan for where the break location can be.
Is there a small room you can purposefully leave free of food and people? Or, is there a staging area in the back of that rental hall, or a porch area?
I’ve even seen people who come from autism families have designated quiet rooms at parties. This is totally something that would make a party more introvert friendly as well!
Still prep and and plan recovery
Downtime before and after to prep and recover are just as important if you’re in charge of an event as they are when you’re a guest.
If fact, it may be even more important.
If you’re in charge, you may have been able to plan a more introvert friendly event, but you still had to do all that planning in the first place.
Give yourself time to rest ahead of time so you can be your best, and time to recover after to appreciate a job well done!
Looking for more tips on how to manage your introverted life?
If you want more tips and tricks on how to manage your introvert life and build plenty of healthy introvert habits, check out the Introvert Life Guide!
This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips, tricks, and ideas to help you create an introvert life that’s uniquely yours!
It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!
For more introvert life tips, check out the other introvert posts!
Sound off: How do you modify your extroverted events to be more introvert friendly? Tell us about it in the comments!