Let’s be real, more often than not, parties are a form of introvert hell.
That’s not to say they aren’t fun for some, or that we can’t enjoy them, but introverts tend to enjoy small social gatherings with close friends or family, as opposed to a full scale party.
The pains of small talk, the prolonged socialization, and the overstimulation from the general sights and sounds can all be very draining for introverts. But sometimes we have to (or want to) go to a party for one reason or another.
When those times come, it’s important to be prepared!
So, here are some tips and trick that help me navigate parties and live to tell about it.
1) Have a rough end time and an exit strategy in mind before you go
This is particularly helpful for a party you don’t want to go to.
If you’re enjoying yourself, you can always stay later, but it might be easier going in if you don’t feel trapped for an unspecified amount of time.
Before you go into a party, always know roughly when you’ll plan to leave and how you will make your exit.
If it’s a big party, you can probably get away with simply ducking out discretely without so much as a goodbye. The bigger the party, the more people there are coming and going and the harder it is for anyone to keep track of who’s there and who’s not.
If it’s not a big party, you have two options:
First, simply say that it’s time for you to go.
Whenever you’ve had enough/reached your previously decided departure time, simply tell your host and other guests that it’s time for you to go. You really shouldn’t have to explain yourself beyond that.
Second, have an excuse ready.
If you know your host or someone else will give you a hard time about leaving, be sure you have a reason ready. Maybe you have to feed your cat, or get up early the next day, or you have to be home for the cable guy.
Honesty is best, but if you think your honest answer will be challenged, then lie.
If you can’t trust people to respect your exit, you shouldn’t feel obligated to explain or justify yourself. Just say what you have to in order to get out.
2) Related: Be responsible for your own transportation if you can
This can be driving yourself, public transportation, or Lyft/Uber.
The point is—don’t rely on anyone else at the party to bring you if possible. (U
This way, when you’ve had enough, you can bail without being stuck waiting on someone else, or dragging anyone else away if they’re having a good time.
If you’re going with a spouse/significant other, maybe come up with a compromise. Like, you let them know when you’ve had enough, but agree to suck it up for another half hour (or whatever) but when that half hour’s up, you both are out. Alternatively, you can both come in
3) Have some questions and discussion topics prepared
We all know small talk is the worst, but it’s easier if you’re prepared for it!
If you know who might be at the party, think of some specific questions you can ask them. And if you don’t know who’s going to be there, think of some general questions you can ask anyone.
If you’re not someone who likes to ask questions, think of some topics instead. If you’re going to a party with a bunch of local food lovers and you, too, are a local food lover, think of some restaurants or events you might want to talk about.
This way you’ll have some talking points prepared, but the conversation can flow naturally.
4) Have conversation exit strategies ready
Being prepared may help with small talk, but there’s only so much any of us can take.
Beyond that, you never know when you will find yourself in a conversation that’s either painful,
Be prepared to go to the bathroom, get a refill on your drink, or get some food as needed.
5) Find the kids, the pets, or the game (even if you don’t like, kids, pets, or sports)
Kids, pets, and televised sports demand very little of you. If you’re at a party with one of these elements, spending time with them may help keep others who would demand more of you away, and give you a mini recharge.
Kids are great because they typically want you to play with them or talk to them. And usually if you’re entertaining a child, others stay away from you. They don’t feel the need to talk to you because you look occupid.
The same can be said with an animal. If you’re petting and talking to a household pet, you often look occupied enough to be left alone for a few minutes and get a breather.
As for sports, if there’s a game on TV, getting wrapped up in the game is a good way to keep yourself out of a conversation. If someone tries to talk to you, you can be “too caught up in the game” to really notice.
Even if you’re not a sports fan, you can pretend to be. Just pick a team and get excited when their score goes up. (It may be best to pick the home team if you’re not a fan, so you can take cues from the crowd.)
6) Find the bathroom or another quiet space
At some point, you will likely need a minute (or more) to catch your breath and do a quick recharge. When this happens, find a quiet spot sneak off too.
The bathroom is typically a safe bet for a few minutes. If you need more than a few minutes, find a nearby room that’s largly unoccupied.
Or, if everyone is outside, you can duck inside and vise versa.
Do what you can to identify this location when you arrive so you know where you’re going when the time comes.
Looking for more in-depth tips on navigating social functions as an introvert?
If you want to dig a little deeper into this topic, check out the Introvert Life Guide!
This guide was designed to help you build the introvert life of your dreams. And it’s full of plenty of tips and tricks to help you get the most out of the social events you go to and how to get out of the wants you don’t want to attend.
It will also help you embrace your introverted nature and build a life to help you thrive!
Sound off: What tips do you have for navigating parties an introvert? What’s worked really well for you? What draining situations have you found yourself in that you’ve learned from? Tell us about it below!